2 pounds of ground beef
1.5 pounds of mixed dried beans (red, pink, white, kidney, whatever)
5 celery stalks, chopped
4 carrots, peeled and chopped
25 ounces of strained tomatoes
25 ounces of chopped tomatoes (or chop canned whole tomatoes in juice)
2 different colors of bell peppers, chopped
5 tablespoons of chili powder
1 teaspoon of cayenne pepper for hard core XXX, or ¼ teaspoon for PG-13
1 Vidalia or yellow onion, chopped
salt and pepper

At least 3 hours ahead of time, deal with your beans. Rinse them and remove any foreign particles. If you didn’t soak them in water overnight (probably not because you were too busy drinking we hope), do the quick method. The quick method is, put the beans in a pot with already boiling water (about 3 quarts in a 5 quart pot), enough to cover the beans by about 2 inches. Boil for 2 minutes, then remove from heat. Cover and soak for 1 hour.

Now that the beans are reconstituted, cook them by boiling them in the same water you reconstituted them, covered for about 1.5 to 2 hours, until they are done. Add more water if the beans become uncovered at any point. Don’t be adding salt to the beans while doing anything we mentioned up above or you’ll be sorry because it will screw it all up.

Once your beans are ready, sauté the meat in a big pot until cooked. Then turn off the heat.

In a skillet, cook the veggies in small batches until the onions are translucent (but before they are brown) and add to the big pot that has the meat in it.

Then, add the beans and the cooking liquid from the beans into the big pot too.

Continue adding to the big pot the tomatoes, chili powder, cayenne pepper, salt and pepper.

Put on medium high heat until boiling, then lower the temperature to low, cover the big pot and simmer for 1.5 hours.

Serves 12.