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The thing
that gets us about the common people is that there are just
so many of them. They seem to defy the Darwinian school of
thought that says: Those who don't eat as nutritious food
will not reproduce as much as those who do. We hope that the
commoner's attraction to "health" diets will eventually render
them sterile. Unfortunately it will take a few thousand years.
10 slices of
bacon, cut into inch long pieces
6 pounds of boneless kosher chicken
1/2 cup of olive oil
2 shots of cognac
Chambertin wine or if you can't afford it,
burgundy
1/2 cup of demi-glace
2 peeled and seeded tomato
6 cloves of minced garlic
2 spoons of fresh chopped thyme
2 bay leaves
6 handfuls of pearl onions
1 pound of fresh crimi mushrooms
2 inch of butter and 4 inches of softened
butter
3 spoons of flour
salt and fresh pepper
Desalt the
bacon by simmering for 10
minutes in water. Sauté the rinsed and
drained bacon in a heavy pot with some oil
until the bacon is lightly browned. Don't
throw out the fat.
Coat the chicken
with flour, salt and pepper
and sear in the hot fat left from above.
Season with salt and pepper, cover and cook
for 10 minutes on medium-low heat, flipping
the chicken once. Chug the shot of cognac.
Pour another shot and chuck it into the pan,
then light a propane torch/lighter/light saber
and ignite the pan. Shake around until the
flames subside WEEEEE!!!
Meanwhile,
quarter the mushrooms and
sauté in butter and olive oil for a few
minutes. Peel the onions by boiling in water
for a minute. Score a cross on one end of
each onion and sear in butter and olive oil for
2 minutes. Then fill the pan with a 0.5 cm of
water, cover and simmer for 20 minutes.
Add the demi-glace
and bacon to the pot and
fill with wine until the chicken is covered.
Then, tomato, garlic, thyme, and bay leaf to
the chicken and wine then simmer for 30
minutes. If the sauce is too thin, strain into a
pot and reduce on high heat. Once the
sauce is acceptable, add the mushrooms
and onions.
It can be
eaten now by quickly reheating
everything together, but we recommend
letting it sit for an hour to two to concentrate
the flavors.
Serves 6 well
dressed people.
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